August 2010
1 post
Sometimes my smart phone makes me feel stupid.
July 2010
3 posts
Messenger Bag Phobia
I can’t count the times I have crossed 14th St traffic, risking life and limb, to avoid the dreaded street petitioner. Our brains have come to engage the flight or fight complex as soon as they recognize the subtle patterns of these highly embarrassing engagements. The messenger bag wielders stand still, feet spread apart, eyes fixed on your downcast face, a smile on their lips, one hand...
What's with this Third Dimension?
Living in a 3D world with 2D vision kinda sucks. James Cameron hates lazy eyed people!
The only reason I would want a Macbook is so I can take pictures of Facebook suggestions. Like this one today:
“Many people who Like Barack Obama also like Megan Fox”
It’s like Facebook can see deep into my secret-Megan-Fox-loving soul.
March 2010
3 posts
Day 65 of My Life Without a Microwave
I have no living memory of a time when I had to cook myself anything without the option of nuking it. Since moving into my first apartment in NYC I have been living life without any sort of microwave. This has created a surprising amount of difficulties for my remedial cooking skills. Gone are the days of three minute ramen. Gone are the days where I could cook rice or couscous in 3 to 5 minutes...
alexandrahart:
I pride myself on my ability to name, spell, and locate every state. I can even list all the states without a map. I think this is because in grade school we had to take “The State Test,” every few months until junior high. Actually, now that I think of it, we started with “The New England Test” and then graduated to the whole country. You didn’t need to score a 50/50 to pass...
February 2010
1 post
So I've never done this before...
I’m writing this from work. One small step for man, one giant leap for Will-Kind!
September 2009
2 posts
Prahahackcoughcough... An Epidemic
I am not going to lie. I didn’t choose to study abroad in the Czech Rep. because I wanted to go to class everyday and do homework. But four days ago I contracted what is most likely a deadly new form of the (insert-random-animal-here) flu.
Since then about half of the NYU in Prague students have developed fifty year old chain smoker’s coughs. In response a RA appeared while I was...
How Tourists Shape My Life
I realized today that I have been constantly dodging tourists on a daily basis for the past 3 years. Going to school in New York City I am constantly surrounded by flash bulbs blinding me as I walk under the Washington Sq Arch on my way to class. During the summer I literally have to wade through tourists clogging the Ben & Jerry’s Gift shop. This year I thought it might be a little...
July 2009
6 posts
Simple Pleasures For Simple Minds...
Tristan: Go deeper Adrianna, you won't drown...
Adrianna: That's what she said!
Holy Moly!
Has anyone ever noticed the Spanish version of Jesus, sounds like Hey Zeus? I always knew i was a jean-yus!
Assumption-isms
ohcollege:
My google reader has recently been flooded with reposting of a particular blog post concerning the following topic:
To all the managers in the world: You suck.
nyclife:
Yes, dear william… this is true. However, your very being is a constant reminder of what they will never be- young, talented, and actually going places. They realize, by looking at you, that they will never be...
Typical Scoop Shop Conversation...
Will: God, I hate having to ask people what they ordered again.
Nick: Yeah, I create a mental map of what ice cream I am getting.
Will: I do that too, but I still forget sometimes.
Nick: The other day I was like "Ok the guy wanted phish food because he was white and it has marshmellows in it which are also white".
Will: So being racist will help me remember ice cream orders?
Nick: You know what I mean...
To all the managers in the world: You suck.
Yes you may have spent 9 years of what you call a life after high school working at the same job, but that doesn’t mean you are any better at life then me. Yes you are a full time employee, but that doesn’t mean you can be a full time asshole. I don’t know if you missed that memo. Thanks.
A Question for the Ladies...
Is it ever okay to order food when breastfeeding your baby? Now I am not talking about the whole let’s throw a blanket over the bundle of joy for snack time and order something for ourselves. No, I am talking about bare boob out and about with a baby on board sign hanging from the nipple. Is that okay? Because as a heads up the words damned uncomfortable don’t even cover what I was...
June 2009
1 post
Isn't it Ironic...
Does anyone else find it ironic, (just a bit?) that Bill from Kill Bill killed himself? Too soon?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/06/05/carradine.death/index.html
May 2009
6 posts
Fuck you Ellis Island!
Seriously what the fuck…
The Canon XT and 18-55 lens were professionally packaged by The UPS Store, and shipped UPS Ground this afternoon PDT, 5-22-09. Expected delivery date is Monday, June 1, 2009. (The UPS clerk misspelled your last name as Norton.)
Why can’t people simply read what they are copying? It’s not like an o closely resembles an e! Ellis Island really dropped the...
*contest*
ohcollege:
“…we’ll do it doggy-style so we can both watch x-files”
anyone who can name song/artist/year without googling wins a prize.
hint: according to wikipedia, “The video reached #11 on MuchMusic’s 50 Most Controversial Videos for references to bestiality, sexual lyrics, insulting French people, gay people, and chefs.”
blood houndgang do it like they do on the discovery channel?
Star? Bucks?
Today I wanted coffee. “Wow” i thought “having a car will make it so much easier to get to starbucks!” It was then that i realized that the closest starbucks to me in nyc was a mere fifteen minute walk (probably less if i scouted around), and the nearest starbucks in vermont was a grueling 45 minute drive. Vermont 0 - NYC 1
Malls Vermont Style
You know you are in Vermont when the closest mall is merely a hallway between Walmart and JC Penny. Oh, and maybe a Bath and Bodies Shop, and a Gamestop in the middle. Maybe.
Dear Vermont,
I am back. You are still as cold, boring, and lifeless as ever. When did you get this way? Or was my childhood all a cruel trick? Where are the good times I had from preschool ‘til I left for NYU? Why did you seem so much different back then than you are now? One of us must have changed in the course of this two year period where you’ve became a secondary home. I hope it’s you...
JPark 2 > JPark 3 Hun...
ohcollege:
This is my order of preference for Jurassic Park movies starting from greatest until worst: 1.) Jurassic Park 1 2.) Jurassic Park 3 3.) Lost World: Jurassic Park 2
Everyday Conversation
Jen: If you tickle me I'll break your arm.
Will: If you tickle me I'll break your fingers, eat the marrow, and suck on the bones.
Jen: ...
Will: What?
April 2009
4 posts
Vendetta #1
Sinks with two faucets. I realize I have two hands, but this does not mean I need two faucets to wash my hands. To make matters worse the water temperatures coming out are at extremes, why the fuck would I ever want both scalding hot and freezing cold? I mean come on! Not to mention I look like I have a mental disorder swing my hands back in forth frantically. The worst is when the faucets...
NYPD Doing a Fine Job
Cop: Can't go through here m'am.
Cougar: My gym is right there. I'm a member.
Cop: Road is closed lady, come back again tomorrow.
Cougar: I have to work out! I pay for a membership there.
Cop: The road is closed and no businesses are open. (Cop waves a guy through)
Cougar: Why did you let him through and not me?
Cop: He works at the gym.
Cougar: You said it was closed!
Cop: It is.
Cougar: I'm filing a report!
Cop: Okay miss move along please.
Dear New School,
Fuck you. I want to get to my dorm. I don’t give a flying fuck about your adjunct professors or whatever, I just want to take a god damn shower. Next time you decide to occupy buildings on my street notify me first so it doesn’t take me a half hour to walk three blocks. Thanks.