I pride myself on my ability to name, spell, and locate every state. I can even list all the states without a map. I think this is because in grade school we had to take “The State Test,” every few months until junior high. Actually, now that I think of it, we started with “The New England Test” and then graduated to the whole country. You didn’t need to score a 50/50 to pass The State Test. If you had that jumbled Eastern seaboard down, with all its funny jagged coastline, they’d probably let it slide if you confused a few right-angled western states. Tell me Wyoming and Colorado aren’t the same thing, honestly. Once you passed, you moved on: state capitals, bodies of water, North American countries. Passing your State Test meant your name was added to the massive butcher paper mural on the cafteteria wall, and for every additional test you dominated, a special corresponding sticker got added to the end of your name. Sort of the “Esq.” or “PhD” of grade school geography. I couldn’t pass my state test until I was in the 5th grade. My mom made up one mnemonic after another: Kentucky Fried Chicken on a Tabletop and will Della Wear a New Jersey to the party in Mary’s Land, but it never did any good. Finally, I think out of pity, my teacher passed me at forty states. It was too late in my last year for my name to show up in the cafeteria and my one attempt at state capitals was laughable.
I was my regional geobee champion two years running, but i feel your pain to the sad fact that i can spell only about 40% of the english language correctly. I skipped school the days we had spelling bees. Fail.
